The power of plaY
Your parenting guide book
There is no parenting manual, but I’m pretty sure if there was it would look a lot like Bluey. Yes, kids learn many lessons about life by seeing themselves in Bluey and Bingo. But adults can learn endless lessons about parenting by seeing Bandit and Chilli as realistic depictions of exemplary parenting. They are able to somehow prioritize themselves, eachother, and their kids all at once. They lay clear boundaries, express their feelings, and say “yes, and” as much as possible.
One of my favorite episodes of Bluey is “Copycat.” Bluey and Bandit discover an injured bird. They take it to the vet, where it dies. Bluey is sad and having some Big Feelings. To process, she enlists the help of Bingo to reenact the events of the day. When Bluey takes Bingo-the-bird to the vet, their mom delivers great news! The bird will live! Bluey corrects her and says “no, you’re supposed to say it’s bad news.” Chilli asks if Bluey is sure that’s how she wants it to go.
As parents, we always want to make our children’s Big Feelings better. They are hard and scary. If we ever have a chance to change a negative outcome for our kids, we will certainly take it. But as Bluey demonstrates, sometimes better is not what our kids need, or even want. Sometimes, all they want is to better understand their Big Feelings.
How do they do this? Through the thing they do best: play. By recreating the event, Bluey gets to experience it all over again, but in a space that she knows is safe, at a speed that she can control. It won’t make the Big Feelings go away and it won’t change what happened to the bird. But it might take her a step closer to understanding grief and processing loss. And that is truly magical.
Endless Benefits
Children start pretend play in earnest at around 18-24 months old, and the learning just continues to compound as they age. Below are some footnotes and further reading that will provide a deep dive into the benefits of this miraculous practice.
As Toddlers they are:
Practicing language skills (Zero-to-Three, 2025)
Experimenting with relationships and power dynamics (Penn Foster, 2023)
Pre-Schoolers begin to use dramatic play to:
Practice impulse control and self-regulation (NIH, 2022)
Share and take turns (NIH, 2022)
In Elementary School, students:
Explore their personalities (PBS, 2023)
Practice and perfect conflict resolution (WGU, 2021)
As we get into older adolescence and teenage years, we may not call it “pretend play," but make no mistake, it is still an essential part of our their lives and development. At this age, it may start to look more like tabletop or role-playing games (think video games or the increasingly popular Dungeons and Dragons). For some students, it may look like fantasy drawing or storywriting. And what are all of those TikTok videos if not make-believe that they are rich and famous? And, of course, the theatre kids are playing pretend all. the. time. Here are just a few of the countless benefits of Dramatic Play for Middle and High School students:
Improved critical thinking and reading comprehension (AATE)
Sense of belonging and responsibility (EduTopia, 2020)
A safe space to explore and express their emotions (Katy DBT, 2024)
